The Problem with Stereotyping

One of the great evils that still exists in our modern "informed" society is racism - both at the individual level and the systemic level. The mistreatment and prejudice that people have towards others simply because they belong to an ethnic group is still very much alive in our society.

Where does that come from? I've tried to wrap my head around this and I think it boils down to fear - fear of the unknown (someone different) and the lack of courage to seek out the truth in individuals. I do not minimize racism but I think it probably falls under a much larger practice that we are all guilty of: stereotyping / grouping / generalizing - whatever. That is, people fail to consider the individual and out of laziness or lack of courage - would rather lump them in with a bigger group to make their fear argument stronger by making their perceived enemy look bigger ("Oh no, I'm mad at this person - but look, he's got his whole tribe backing him up...woe is me..."). In the case of racism, an individual would rather lump people of the same color into one stereotype - that prevents them from having the to get to know and value an individual - because that actually takes some effort.

We do stereotyping all the time - both in positive ways and in negative ways. Everyone has a stereotype of what a soldier is or what a preacher is. Some good might come out of those expectations. Especially in politics, all of us have to admit that when someone claims to be a Republican or a Democrat, we already (think) we know what his opinion is on taxes, government or abortion - without even talking to him. And let's not forget the whole stereotype of men being from mars while women come from Venus.

So we all do stereotyping - we just need to get it under control. This past couple of weeks, I got to experience some negative stereotyping from unexpected places. In both cases, people who claimed to be believers (one of them was even a spiritual leader) mouthed off one of the worst cases of stereotyping - the kind where they have a beef with an individual in a church and then they describe in negative terms how the WHOLE CHURCH is! So let's see - an American commits a crime, does that mean all Americans are criminals? I witness a Filipino eat a dog - does that mean all Filipinos are dog eaters? A person who attends this church says something offensive to me - does that mean ALL THE PEOPLE in this church are out to get me? Hello? Can we be any more ludicrous here?

Sadly, this reality goes on everyday. In many churches, this is the reason why people leave - they are offended by one person and they blame the whole church for failing them.

Many Christian writers would find lots of fault in Western individualism. While I agree with some of that, I also find strength in the kind of individualism that values each person for who they are as a person - not because of their color or their church affiliation. One of the greatest truths I picked up when I became a believer after living a lifetime of religiosity is this:

Jesus loves ME and He died on the cross for ME

....although I'd still be saved had he lumped me in together with all "sinners", I'm comforted by the fact that He knows me by name. Wouldn't it be nice if we would see people as individuals rather than as just members of tribes...

Dondi

What Really Matters

My wife and I visited a friend of ours who's in prison. He was sentenced a couple of years ago and is serving a 34 year sentence. He is 22 years old.

The natural inclination for those of us who are on the "outside" is to feel a sense of loss and tragedy for this boy - once full of promise, he seems to have "thrown" his life away by one senseless act (allegedly). But after spending a few hours with him, I realize that those of us on the outside could stand to learn a few things from some of the people within those walls. This kid, in spite of the circumstances, managed to focus his energies on studying, praying, reading, working and keeping himself fit and healthy. I was especially amazed that he was able to reconnect with some of the religious traditions of his family and today enjoys a deep, personal and profound relationship with our God. He even quips that had it not been for this situation, he would probably not be this close to God. He has peace, contentment, joy and a positive attitude - plus, like I said, he works out, doesn't smoke nor drink and is actually working on a degree course from a real university at his own expense...behind bars.

The one thing he doesn't have - "freedom". Or at least we think he doesn't have it. Sure, his movements are limited and he doesn't have a view of the Sound in his cell. He doesn't enjoy twitter or facebook and his mind doesn't get to experience all the "educational opportunities?" that the all-knowing internet gives us. And he can't go on raves or taste the latest beer. And he can't drive the latest car and have the privilege of being in debt for the next 6 years. And he can't enjoy the visits to the doctor or our addiction to meds because he doesn't need them (like I said, the guy works out and he's keeping himself healthy). And he really can't enjoy our wonderful relationship with our credit cards. But he's happy, focused and enjoys a real relationship with our Savior...which is more than I can say for many of us on the outside.

Are we on the outside who enjoy all this "freedom" and "entertainment" and "social networking and stuff...lots of stuff...and debt and stress and crime...are we really better off than an inmate? Makes you wonder, huh? Don't get me wrong, he attests that life inside is not easy - and I fully appreciate the fact that the life of an inmate is not what any of us should aspire to have. But what kind of person can take that situation and turn it around to make him a better person and even be in a place emotionally and spiritually where many of us can't even imagine being? If somebody inside can do that, that just tells me that we on the outside probably could, too.

Don't do the crime to do time, make time and do something meaningful with your freedom.

Dondi

Rants Are a Dime a Dozen

I recently came across a blog where this person was ranting and raving about how all network marketing businesses are scams. He cites specific companies and ridicules distributors for falling for the sales talk. Apparently, he's been to many of these meetings for different companies - life insurance, mutual funds, cosmetics, health supplements, etc. Every time he attends, he finds new reasons to criticize them.

There is such a thing as critics who believe that if they fail at an enterprise, the enterprise is a phony. These are people who spend lots of their own personal money and have not become rich in pursuing that specific business. And yes, when lots of people are putting money into an enterprise and lots of people are failing, maybe the enterprise is a scam. This is apparently this guy's particular frustration.

First of all, if this complainer spent more time actually pursuing one of the businesses whose schemes he criticizes, rather than maintaining his blog, maybe he'd make some money. I'm not necessarily defending network marketing - but come on, man - get a life.

Second, although this complainer may be right in that a lot of people get into marketing businesses but do not succeed, there's a huge elephant in the room that he's not seeing. Here's the problem: there are actually also lots of people who are making money and there are lots of people that are finding success in these enterprises. This means that the claims of these companies have some truth. And the ones who succeed are usually the ones who have stuck with it for a while. Typically the ones who rant against these companies are those who dreamed that they'll get rich quick and who did not count the costs before diving in. They got lured in by all the talk of the top people about all the money that can be made. A few thousand dollars later, if these would-be entrepreneurs have not succeeded, they find someone to blame. And in the internet age, their rants are placed on the same level of credibility as the president of the USA, which is unfortunate. The more democratized our communications tools are, the harder it is to find credible sources of truth.

What does this have to do with Christianity? Just like a network marketing scheme, those who have been in the church for a while are always talking about how great the Christian life is. And those that hear about it are impressed and they dive in. Most of the time, it's because evangelicals have focused so much on the feel good aspects of faith and the assurance of eternity. To be sure, that is the gospel...but not all of it. Few believers ever mention that what they are calling you to when they invite you into the Kingdom life is a lifestyle of discipleship - following Christ and taking up His cross. It was Jesus Himself who said that we should count the costs before deciding to follow Him. So people dive in and become 'born again'. And they enjoy some excitement at the beginning because it's a new endeavor. They meet new people, seem to get all their prayers answered and learn new information to criticize other faiths. But they refuse to go to 'training' to build up their conviction or they have no resolve to practice the disciplines required to be successful in their Christian walk. They don't have time to invest in classes about scripture or ministry and rarely want to make sacrifices for the sake of the community.

So when the storms come and the Christian life isn't exactly how they imagined it to be according to their mentor's promises, they falter. Often when their lives run into turbulence, they figure it's the church's fault...so the church, Jesus, His followers must be all be part of a scam. What they fail to notice is that there are lots of people who "succeed" in the Christian walk - not monetarily like in a business but in terms of spiritual growth. There are actually people who have joy and peace and are filled with scripture and goodness because they have endured a life of faith by following the Christian disciplines.

I have learned to be humble about the business situation - realizing that I do not have all the answers. There was a time when I also criticized everyone who was involved in a network marketing business - until I met some real life people who are actually making significant earnings from their respective businesses without cheating. How can I claim foul on a business and call it a scam, when there are so many ordinary men and women who have found success in it by simply following the company's recommendations? If I complain, I am merely telling the whole world that I failed in the business and I need to blame somebody. Why should I blame those who are successful? All they did was follow the plan!

Doesn't that sound just like a person who blames God and the church when they are going through suffering? "God promised me he would provide all my needs," they cry out. "So how come I lost my job?" "God is a phony...and I'll create a website about it so more people can see that this whole spiritual life is a scam."

So my advice to people pursuing their own businesses - ignore your detractors, follow your dreams but do it with integrity. And my advice to believers who have critics about your faith - pray for them....or just ignore them - rants are a dime a dozen, specially on the web.

Marketing Versus Evangelism

We just came back from a convention of home based entrepreneurs. It was an amazing event - 3 days packed with 20,000 (sometimes overly) enthusiastic adults from all walks of life, all adult ages and all ethnicities whipped into excitement by speakers, presenters and testimonies. There were training sessions, information sessions, encouragement sessions, and yes, sleeping sessions (hey, you try sitting through 3 days of people talking while sitting in a dark cold arena).

Seriously, all that marketing jargon reminded me of the days when we would attend all sorts of Christian conferences - leadership, evangelism, church-growth, you name it. We've been to gender specific, age-specific, ministry specific, evangelistic-specific, and all sorts of other large group gatherings where the goal was training and encouragement and pumping up as we walk through this journey we call the church-life. And yes, we did sleep through some of those sessions, too (I remember sleeping through a whole concert of a rock/rap group at a youth conference in the Tacoma Dome).

I thought for a while that the marketing company was copying what the church was doing - almost to the point of saying that involvement with the company was a religion. But after further thought and discussion with a good friend of mine - I realized that it's actually the church, specifically the church in America, that is copying the methods of the marketing companies. In its quest to become successful just like these corporations, churches all over this country are importing methods, techniques and even philosophies of successful sales strategies, corporate expansion programs and leadership principles from the private industry. True, some of those methods are simply due to human nature - like regardless of what you are selling or promoting, nobody's going to believe you unless you yourself believe in the product. Who would want to try your vitamin if you're not using it and benefiting from it yourself? In the same way, who would believe that Jesus does deliver if you yourself haven't been delivered from your bondages?

But I think that if the Church of Jesus Christ would stop for a second and realize that they actually have the best 'product' that can be marketed, they wouldn't need to resort to some of the methods that marketing companies use today. We do not have to beg people to use our product, nor do we have to 'put a carrot on a stick' or create opportunities to 'hook' people into church life. If the gospel is true and alive in our lives and if our testimony is consistent and real, its effects should be evident and they should attract people because those effects are exactly what everyone needs and what everyone wants.

I mean, who doesn't need assurance of an eternity with God and peace with the divine? Who doesn't want to be surrounded by people who love them regardless of who they are and what they've done? Who wouldn't want to be a part of saving lives drowning in poverty and disease and environmental destruction? What kind of person would reject love and peace and joy that doesn't come from material wealth?

The life of a follower of Christ offers all these and so much more - and the best part of it is that unlike any corporate marketing plan, there is no cost to join the system. All you need is faith. so don't think that you have to resort to the same tactics that sales people and corporate entrepreneurs do to bring in more customers. All you have to do is be a product of the product (i.e. show the effects of your faith in your life) and people will ask you what you're taking. Then you tell them!

So just sign the papers and order your next 3 months worth of Spiritual feeding...for free. I guarantee you'll be satisfied!

:)